forgetting that this isn’t livejournal

I’m not just a writer. I am fully capable of locking myself in my bedroom and drinking a case of diet coke, reading the first five pages of a novel and never finishing it, then writing sixteen poems about how sad and miserable I am, but that is silly and fucked up and dumb. I should be at the coffee bean

running into nicole burdiss (WHO I MISSED, FUCK) and hanging out with KT, and various other coffee drinking people. And having faith, not in God who I am unsure of, but in people and the fact that when I remember to show how much I care, my friends and family tend to reciprocate. Also, I need to take my stepdad fishing, or give him a gold brick or something. He is hurting and trying so hard, so badly, I don’t know how to describe it, but I love him so much that I hurt when he hurts. It has been really painful hanging out with him.

Things that need to be back in my life

1. the SHIFT key. Seriously. Grammar. meh

2. Andrei, Talbot, Jonny T (whoops, he is in alaska), Burdiss, Shannon, Solis, Korovesis (if I didn’t destroy that), Amir, etc

I can keep pretending I hated every minute of high school, or I can realize that a lot of people made it more than bearable.

3. my parents. they are cool. they are batshit insane. they are wounded, and on pain medication (not in a bad way, but still), and anxious. but they love me a whole lot. they aren’t out to get me. i’m not 13, and i’m not all stoned and paranoid. they deserve more credit than i give them.

4. my sisters. I need to call C + D once a week. I need to take bridget out to lunch tomorrow. Hm. I need to write a poem about them. I need to get

5. some tattoos. not iguanas, or my initials, or anything silly. 4 flowers, and two birds. i need to make it so.

and thus concludes the least interesting thing I have ever written.

Thank you Brianna for being the only person to read this. Maybe one of my sisters? probably not. I betcha jesus reads it.